When One Door Closes

Well...we have made the decision to withdrawal from the Kazakhstan program. Because of a new ruling that does not allow you to specify the gender of your child (which we did) our paperwork will be returned to the US and then have to go thru the Consulate in DC (notoriously slow) and then the health issues of the children is another concern. We knew that we could be faced with a child that has "minor correctable needs" and this was ok with us. It was not the rule but the exception until now. As many citizens of Kazakhstan are adopting the children they are adopting the healthy children. As a result we may not be able to adopt a healthy child. And while we are open to minor correctable needs we are not prepared to take such a risk that we would not come home with a child at all. We are not prepared for a special needs child and the new gender ruling basically puts us back to square one. While it is possible to move forward even with these circumstances Dusty and I do not feel that at this point we want to continue down that path. With that being said we both feel great peace with our decision and we do feel that there is a child waiting for us but maybe in America. So we will investigate other avenues and keep you posted. For those that are continuing on we wish you the best of luck. We still have great respect for our agency and know that they have done everything to help us along the way. The face of international adoption is changing and we feel like the door to Kaz is closed but another door will open for us soon. We will be shutting down the blog permanently in a couple of weeks. As the intention was to have our blog so that people could check in with us while we were in Kaz. This won't be necessary any longer for us as we are not going international. Thanks to everyone for their support.

Updating Dossier

Well this month was one year since we applied with CHI. Things are very slow in Kaz but we are still in it for the long haul. Some of our documents are going to start expiring soon so we are working on getting those updated as we speak. Other then that we are just living our lives as normal as we can but knowing in the back of our mind that we could get a call anytime...or not. We are moving forward with vacations and other things that we feel are important. We are sure that when we get the call there will be nothing that we can't postpone or reschedule. We have started some Russian lessons. It is something we are doing at home and the theory is that you do 10 minutes a day.

Going Private

Our blog will be going private in a few days. If you want to follow along please email me or post your email and I will add you.

Summer

It is hot here. It is just June and it has been in the 90's already, wow! Not much to report on the adoption front. Slowly but surely families are getting assigned regions. Now we wait for them to travel and hope that all goes well for these families that have waited for so long. In time it will be our turn. In the meantime we are just trying to live our life as normal as we can. Sometimes you can be so caught up on the future that you miss the present. I think it is important for us to be realistic and make sure we have as many things taken care so that we are as prepared as we can be when we get "the call" while at the same time making sure we enjoy the time that we have right now. Most of our documents for our dossier will be expiring late this summer and early this fall so we will be redoing our dossier but that will not be too difficult. It is just a matter of paperwork.

Dossier at MOE

Our agency let us know today that our Dossier made it to the MOE on April 1st. Very exciting. Still no word on when we expect to travel. It could be in the next few months or it could be more like 18-20 months. The wait continues.

Waiting

The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh


Kyzylkol Lake in Kazakhstan

Waiting....Patiently

Adoption News: None. We are still waiting on our paperwork to move from the MOFA to the MOE. It is hard when families from other agencies are already traveling but we are very happy with our agency and we are sticking with them....and that's that! Everyone has their own journey and this is ours and we believe that everything happens for a reason. In the meantime we wait as patiently as we can! We are able to talk with Karen in St. Louis and she is always available to answer any questions. We believe that our agency is ethical and is following all the rules that need to be followed in this complex world of international adoption. We hope to travel sometime in 2009. If it is sooner then that we will be pleasantly surprised but I would rather be surprised then disappointed.

In the meantime some pictures of the Nephews.
It is always a party when Daddy is around!


Big brother Charlie looking after Osby.


Always smiling!

Still Waiting

I called our agency this week to see if our dossier was still sitting at the MOFA and it is. It has been there for 11 weeks. Our coordinator indicated that they would be checking into why some dossiers are still at the MOFA and see if they would be moving soon. I know we still have a wait in front of us but it would be nice to see some movement in that area. There are some families from our agency that have traveled and are waiting now to go back and another family that is going to be leaving soon. So this is good news and it is nice to see things moving. We are still confident in the path that we have decided to take and are just trying to stay patient.

Osby and Charlie

Good News

Kazakhstan has lifted the temporary suspension of dossiers!!!

As reported from www.jcics.org

On Monday, March 24th, Joint Council met with Kazakhstan Ambassador to the United States Erlan Idrissov and Deputy Assistant Secretary of State Michelle Bond. The meeting addressed the Ambassador's concerns regarding adoptions between the United States and Kazakhstan and confirmed the ongoing review of all adoptions cases currently at the Kazakhstan Embassy in Washington D.C. The Ambassador kindly detailed
Kazakhstan's efforts to ensure that intercountry adoptions are in the best interest of each child and conducted within an ethical and legalframework. He also expressed Kazakhstan's efforts to utilize the tenets of the Hague Convention in both current and future laws.

Joint Council is pleased to report that at the conclusion of the meeting, the Ambassador confirmed that the temporary suspension of dossier processing by the Embassy is lifted and dossier's meeting all necessary criteria will be processed. Dossiers not meeting the criteria will be held at the Embassy until all issues and concerns are successfully resolved. The Ambassador also confirmed that a review of all adoption service providers and family dossiers is ongoing and will remain in effect until further notice. During this review period, adoption service providers and potential adoptive parents should expect ongoing delays in processing times. No specific time line for the processing of dossiers is currently available.

It remains Joint Council's understanding that in adoption cases where the dossier has already been processed by the Kazakhstan Embassy and forward to Astana are not affected by the review process noted above. The Kazakhstan Embassy, U.S. Department of State and Joint Council have agreed to work collaboratively over the coming weeks to ensure that the goal of ethical, legal adoptions under the tenets of the Hague Convention are met in a timely fashion and in the best interest of each child. Joint Council hopes to meet with Consular Chief Almat Aidarbekov in the coming days to discuss specific issues related to child welfare in the U.S. and Kazakhstan.

Joint Council extends our sincere thanks and appreciation to Ambassador Idrissov and Deputy Assistant Secretary Bond for their efforts on behalf of the children we serve. We also applaud Ambassador Idrissov's commitment to ethical child welfare and to ensuring a safe, loving and permanent family for every child.

Temporary Suspension of Kaz Dossiers

Not much to report. Our paperwork is still at the MOFA in Kazakhstan. We did get some disturbing news from our agency this week - the Embassy of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the U.S. has stopped forwarding dossiers to Kazakhstan. As we are told this is a temporary situation while the Kazakhstan Embassy reviews their procedures. At this time we are not affected since our paperwork is already in Kaz. I feel bad for the families whose paperwork has either just been turned into their agency or whose paperwork is sitting at the consulate. However, I am confident this is only temporary. I hope this means improvements for the process overall.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

We got word on Friday that our dossier was registered at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Kazakhstan on Jan 15, 2008. We are very excited. I know we still have more time before we travel but to know that our dossier has moved just makes it that much more real!!!! Hang on Baby Baker. We hope to be meeting you soon!!!

Adoption From Another Point Of View

In her book Toddler Adoption, the Weavers Craft, Mary Hopkins-Best writes:

If my son were to speak for himself and all the other children who came to their families as toddlers, he might tell you this:

Please learn as much as you can about me before you decide to be my Mom or Dad, so you won't be surprised about me. Don't think of me as a helpless infant, even though I may not yet be able to do all the things most kids my age can do. Don't treat me as if I am older than I really am just because I act as if I don't need you to take care of me. However, when I push you away is when I need you to hold me and tell me that you will never let me go. I had to learn to do many things for myself before you came into my life, and it's hard for me to learn to depend on you as much as I should. Please recognize and help me with my special needs, but remember that I am still a lot more like other kids than I am different. See me first as your child, not as your adopted child or a child with special needs.

Sometimes I feel really sad and really mad. Don't pretend that I don't have these feelings, and don't get discouraged when I take out my strong feelings on you. Most of the time I am not really mad at you, but you're the one who's here now and the one I can safely show my feelings to. I know in my heart that you didn't do anything to hurt me, but I get all mixed up.

My memories of other Moms and other places where I've lived are all in my mind, but they're stored in pictures, sounds, feelings, and even smells. I don't have the words to talk about these things. I can't figure out why that other Mom disappeared, and I'm worried that you might go away, too. I often have to test you because it's hard for me to believe that you won't leave me, too. In fact it's pretty scary for me to love you and trust you, so I might have to test your love the most when you start to be important to me.

Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and be a little baby again so someone will take care of me. Other times I want to do everything by myself and I feel like running away from you. Please be patient. We have a long time together. After all, the really worthwhile things in life usually aren't very easy and they don't happen overnight.

While we cannot ensure a smooth transition, we can make a huge difference to most children's experience of adoption if we remain empathetic and mindful of the child's needs and concerns.

Copyright copyright 1997 Perspectives Press, Inc.

Here are just some random pictures of two of my nephews.
Charlie and Osby at Christmas


Little Osby - Looking Cute!

International Adoption Clinic Appointment

Today we had our visit with Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic. It was very thorough. We had three individual meetings. 1st appointment was with the psychologist, she went over alot of the issues that the children can experience when needs are not meet. We found alot of this to be similar information to the DVD series that we went through called Because They Waited. Our 2nd appointment was with the MD. She went through many of the medical terminology that we could expect to encounter and she also gave us growth chart sheets and went over "red flags", etc. Our 3rd and final meeting was with the Occupation Therapist. She went over some developmental milestones and things we could be on the lookout for. Because we have done so much research none of this was too new but we felt great to get signed up with them and went over the process of emailing them our photos and video before we accept our referral. Dusty and I both could not imagine traveling without doing this.

Ready for the New Year

Well we had some quiet holidays. We celebrated Christmas here together. We are trying to save our money and our time off for our travels this year. We have alot to look forward to. The holidays we really great and we received lots of presents for Baby Baker. It was so fun to open all the presents for him/her. We video taped it and hope to share it with Baby Baker one day. Baby Baker seems a million miles and a lifetime away but at the same time I feel like Baby Baker is just around the corner.

We are ready for the New Year and all the changes that it will bring. Maybe a new family?

Our agency had a conference call the other night with all the Kaz families. It was really cool to hear voices of some of the people whose blogs I have been following. It was also really cool to know that we are not alone in our process and that so many other families are going through the same thing.